Say it So!

 

I love quotes...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I saw this amazing piece in the courtyard of Barrister Gallery on St Claude several months ago.  I would have loved to have own it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



just sayin'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Circular

"A time comes in your life when you finally get it when in the midst of your fear & insanity, you stop dead in your tracks & somewhere inside your head cries ENOUGH!

 

Enough fighing,crying or struggling to hold on.  And like a child quieting down after a blind tamtrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world with fresh eyes"...Author Unknown

 

 

It took me more then a  minute before I was able to connect the dots that I had come a full circle once I had moved into my new digs. I was so happy to have moved downtown and with the unpacking, exploring and figuring, I did not see the obvious that was right in front of me.  Until the day I decided to go on a walk and ot the the path I usually walk.  Of course I knew about the housing development coming up behind me which was the last remaining housing projects in New Orleans. Depending on what side of the fence you sat on, there was a lot of emotions about the need to tear down to build up.  Sometimes it is needed, albeit painful, but still necessary to break a painful cycle.

 

 

 

 

 

I did not have the same emotional attachment to that property as many others who lived there several decades, raised a generation or two in them, but I could at least in theory emphatize in seeing your old way of living being torn down or destroyed because good, bad or indifferent, it was yours.

 

And whether you perceived, that you had no say in the matter as the powers will be may view you, in your eyes, as not deserving of that say is tough to swallow.  It doesn't mean you don't have a say, it could be perception and no more then that.

 

When I first heard that this housing project was being prep for demolition a few years ago, I decided to go by and walk through it.  The majority of the residents had already moved out.  I had a reason why I needed to go as I, too, had lived there very briefly, 6 months or so in the early 70s. Scared, pregnant, young, two small children and separated from my husband.  I was so grateful to get that apartment!  The rent was $35.00 per month for a 2 bedroom with utilities included, hardwood floors very, very nice.  I recalled it being, each section, very family oriented although I did not have any friends. 

 

 I now know now fully grown & not as naive, that there were those messy gosspy folks, but I did not see much of the negativity that people claimed about the projects around me with the exception of the woman adjacent to me that was prostituting to support her family to augment her meager income rom her job.  But she was kind to me, we did not hang out together and she was very discreet, but yes she was prostituting.

 

So why did I take that walk?  Was I being nostalgic, sentimental, wanting to recall the good times?  I cannot be really sure as I did not survive ther or New Orleans, in fact, very long. It was too much for me, far to overwhelming.  I did not have the necessary roughness to survive her.  It was too much for this sensitive dreamer.

 

 

But what I did, in that walk 2 years ago and then again in September 2014 was to marvel over that time, 43 years to be exact, between 1971 and 2014 what & where I had been, done and experienced in that span of time.  How little did I know,in this last attempt to function in the place of my birth, that I could end up in nearly the very same place, I started.

 

I could love out from the rooftop of the building I reside inat the hospital I was born, where my son Donovan was born and subsequently died in and finally look through that passage of time in a curious, oddly detached but in peace and comfort.  This time returning back to New Orleans when I did in Spet 2009, I did not flee.  I always joked about my managing 5 years here befor I had to go.  My tolerance level was about 5 year before I had to go.  As of today, I am in my 6th year.  Who's to know, I may still go away again one day but it won't be because I was forced out or it became too much.

 

 

 

There were several griefs I had to manage that are intimataely tied to this city.  Not just that of my son.  In the process of living and exploration, I learned & processed a lot of things, people and places.  Not unlike many others. Living is very powerful if you do it well. Or even if you don't do it well, it will surely kick you in the butt.  I kept coming back like a boomerang to finish up that work.  I could only anage so much and had to go away to process it.

 

And for those who might read and rush to judgement about my putting down this old city, I am not.

 

I am reflecting.

 

 It was de ja vu for me finding this as I defintiely recall on Oct 21,1971 my walking in full blown labor to Charity Hospital at age 21, to give birth to my now deceased son, Donovan Perri, who died from SIDS 2 1/2 months later. These two pictures are simply part of the tearing down to build up again. To strip away somethings that needs to be strip away. Yes what was torn down was yours, but there is a point when you have to discharge it, give thanks for it, but now it no longer is good for you.  It has nothing to do with the comapany, the contractors the workers, politicians, profiteers or anything else.  Whatever is their agenda is theirs to behold.

You actually may be surprised as to the end results and how you may be more ready for change then you thought.

I observe some in my building work anxiously and feverishly to reconstruct what they thought they had although it was obvious it was/is counter-productive.  But they'll be fine at the end of it all.  And if not, they'll find some place to continue running in circles. Or they'll adapt or adjust and find a new rhythm.

The old Iberville Housing Projects under construction to be reopend in 2015.  It will not be called "The Projects" then..  Words are powerful.

 

Where I am today( in a sense of irony). The building to the right was the former Texaco Coporate headquaters converted to senior apartments adjacent to the Ibervile Housing Apartments.  Who would have thunk it that I would literally end up living a shotgun from what you will see below.

 

Except I now have a wealth of experiences and a life since that time scared, young single parent

 

Now see the old building,my old apartment in the Iberville Housing Apartment before they started demolition 2 years ago.  Ironically this is one of the buildings they preserved.  I was in the upstairs apartment with the balcony.  Despite what anyone wants to believe nowadays, these were beautiful apartments with a great community back then.

Iberville Housing Project 2009




So what have I learned in those 40+ years?

"You learn to open up to new worlds & different points of views. And you begin to reaccessing and redefining who you are & what you stand for.  You learn the difference betweeen wanting & needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and the values you've outgrown or should have not bought to begin with.  And in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You begin to sift through all that you've been fed/about all you should have/ how you should look/ how much you should weigh/ what you should wear/ where you should shop/ what you should drive/how & where you should live/what you should do for a living/who you should marry/what you expect in a marriage".

Bridging the Gap

 

Its been ages, but I am back writing about my (wow) 5 year old return back tomy home town of New Orleans, La

 

Its been a dizzying incredible ride thats not over yet.

 

What is different is I broke the 5 year itch!  On or about 5 years, I am reading to get out of Dodge, so to speak... But this time I stayed.  I cannot even tell you why but I have...Fussing and fuing all the way, but somethig is indeed differnt this go around.

 

 

Time will only tell...

 

More photos to follow very soon.

 

 

 

 

 

Standing in the Shadows (No More)

"Sometimes it is the smallest decision that can change your life"~ Keri Russell

Standing in the Shadows
By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney©13

Lower 9th Ward at the Levees JHM©09

There will be no standing in the shadows…

I/my/we…

Will not/won’t not/have not be not

Now matter how tempting, how enticing it may appear in the shade

Casted by somebody else’s shadow.

The flood lights will shine brilliantly

‘Cause this chicka chickiedee bebe said to me.

“This is your awakening…

Smooth your way out of the way of your self”



Or as Trent would say “Stitch your wings back on & fly”!

So your prodigious fabulousness will fire up to the never…

Ever…

Whatever…

(I’ll still be loving you) *



Pulsate, shimmer & shine…

Simmering in a refined

Going to the next line

Of His Grace in a powerful race.

So the chickie, chickie bebe said.



I’ll not stand in the shadows of others’ incomplete dreams

Or incoherent screams

That masquerade as laughter but really is a scheme…

They’ve done all they could to hold you in the shadows of what they’ve deemed

Your place, not your grace.



This moon will prance & romance among the stars, gas & dust …

In a distinguish assembly of love supreme…

Winking & nodding as she stands proudly on a cloud

Orchestrating what it can be

Of what it will be.



She said” I don’t want to be shaded by someone else’s’ shadow

Of incomplete dreams or fearful schemes”

She/They/We know that while it appears ferocious

And the world is atrocious

Or pain’s shadow blinds so one may think they cannot breathe.



You can.

“Breathe now child, Breathe"...

So the chicka chickie bebe said.

Look in right direction for His protection

An invitation that does not require an RSVP.



There will be no standing n the shadows undercover in someone else’s fear

And unnatural clauses that will make you pause…

From making a way even out of no way…

To His Way, to the truth & the light

So the Chicka, chickie bebe said.



(I’ll be loving you always)*

All rights reservedJHM4-20-13©

 Late August, the week of the 9th anniversary of Katrina, I will be starting my art empowerment classes at the Ashe Cultural Art Center on Monday evenings. www.ashe-cac.org The Standing in the Shadows will run from late August to early December 2014 with an art exhibition by the participants commencing  during Women History Month March 2015.

 

Sunset in Gert TownJHM©09

 

 These "Shadows" classes part of my The Fig Tree Project was an idea germinating since 2010 after spending some time with a woman named Elisabeth who I did not know at the time was at 67 yrs of age was homeless. This woman had been gainfully employed most of her life only to lose everything a few years prior.

It took long period of time before I gained her trust to learn some of her story that transpired in her native Alabama. That story stayed with me. No woman, especially our senior women should ever have to live in that level of fear & poverty. Elisabeth's story seeded what took time to germinate to my now Fig Tree Project.

While it took four years, The Fig Tree Project took root in my heart.  I had to have more experience to round it out. The Fig Tree Project has its foundation in the Biblical prophecy of Micah 4:4. Now saying all of this, I understand..to my very core.

Gert Town New Orleans JHM©09

 I was surprised to learned the amount of seasoned women who became homeless because of Katrina that were over 60.  In the last 8 years I've interviewed both informally & formally and have heard numerous stories of their lives both then & now as they (still) are rebuilding lives.  Not only having to deal with the 1-2-3 punch of dealing not only the effects of ageism, sexism & and racism, Katrina was the tipping point for many...too many.

Meeting Elisabeth in 2010, really became for me a pivotal moment.  I had just turn 60 and because of circumstances far beyond my control, found myself in a position, not of being homeless but truly understanding to my core, how much people devalue older ones especially women.

Sixty is still viable as it is "the youth of old age".  But how society perceives and treat is a whole 'nother matter. 

My "Shadows" Art empowerment classes has since Elisabeth planted the seed, has now expanded to embrace other shadows not necessarily just homelessness.  There are many shadows people run from to all the time. Any adult is welcome to join as long as they are willing to be genuine, thoughtful, respectful and ready to turn to express.  one does not have to be an artist to participate; they must though , be ready to express themselves with some guidance. 

 More will be updated on dates, times and locations in the very near future.

Lower 9th Ward Church JHM©2009

I Went to the Ribber...Now I'm Back!

I've not written much of anything, But I will be now that I have something to say.

And there's a lot...


Going To the River

By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney ©08




When I am in a way where words refuse to suffice...


Or the tides cannot soothe my ears with a melodic rhythm


And the gentle rustle of the sycamore tree sounds more like Beethoven's Fifth


Or cleansing raindrops feels more like crashing boulders surrounding my soul.


And the 12th of Never seems ever, ever more then one should bear.

Or the blossom that fell echoed so loud that even Nat's own velvet voice failed to quiet...

Relief seems to far away as the Serengeti is for me to stroll over

And the hope that the Middle Passage was a cruel, cruel joke.

That was not absolutely not funny.

I have to seek a place to replenish myself to go on another day.

So for me...

I am going to the river...


To sit & just be.

AllrightsreservedJHM 4-27-08©

Grumble,Rumble,Roar & Thunder: I Thought I Knew When to Fold 'Em

 Well I guess I thought I knew...

Here I am now in  the last vestiages of 2014 just feeling the stirrings of writing or creating but with a clearer understanding of what belies me.

I wrote this little snippet below in January, 2013:


It has been an exceptional long time since I've written much if anything here. I've been in a soul survival mode. Too much to delve in & I have no desire,to go into instant replay.

I am going to leave my hometown for the very last time. There will be no more returning to live. I'm just not "there" any longer. I'll havr to have small vignettes here, but live? I seriously doubt it. In this last 30% of my lifr is, will be mine to enjoy, not fighting what has already past, the memo wasn't delivered. As Thomas Paine once said " To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead".

I got my reasoning back. When all been said & done, there will be more said & done. I just don't want what's been already spoken.

No great brainer, but I am still here... In the year since I wrote the snippet above something happened.  No not with the exterior world, but in my own world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Shucks half the time I don't even understand my journey Lol.